1. “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” — Dean Martin

2. “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” — Margaret Mead

3. “I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” — Benjamin Franklin

4. “You know you’re living right when you wake up, brush your hair, and confetti falls out.” — Katy Perry

5. “Even I don’t wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.” — Cindy Crawford

6. “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I won’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” — Michael Scott

7. “On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.” — H. Allen Smith

8. “What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.” — Leslie Knope

9. “Out of all the lies I’ve told, ‘Just kidding!’ is my favorite.” — Anonymous

10. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” — Katharine Hepburn